20/20's Vision
The word ‘opinion’ keeps circling around in my mind. On one token, I believe that most humans (including myself) are extremely self-absorbed. Due to this, most of our thoughts circle around our own lives and our own next step towards progression and happiness. For example, if I have a huge zit on my face, it’s only huge with my tunnel vision in Me-land. Everyone else is more concerned about how they look and what is going on in their lives to be able to give two shits about my zit.
The flip side to this, though, goes with an adage that I am sure you have heard: ‘Opinions are like a$holes, everybody has one.’ I recently experienced this when my hair stylist experimented with chestnut brown/purple micro-bangs. The next day, two co-workers stopped me, eyeballed me, and promptly let me know how they preferred my previous hairdo. Thankfully, I have mastered the simultaneous eye squint/head nod which allows me to avoid saying, “I don’t remember asking you.”
I’ve spent too much time over the course of my life worrying what others thought of me and my actions, particularly in elementary and high school. One rite of passage to being grown is feeling completely comfortable in my own skin & doing what I want, regardless of how others judge me. Like I mentioned in my blog, The Strength to Say No, I don’t feel guilty for skipping my son’s 20th travel baseball game of the season to go to the gym. From the outside, this may look selfish, but I know the importance of keeping myself happy and healthy. If I am depressed, sick or angry, I don’t have a lot to offer others. Therefore, it benefits everyone that I interact with if I make sure I feel great.
I have also spent too much time over the course of my life having an opinion about how someone else lived their life. I have learned that any time I spent stewing about their actions only made me feel bad. In the meantime, the other individual was happily oblivious to how I felt and living in the bliss of their decision. Needless to say, I’ve been on the receiving end of this one, too. Just this past month, I was informed that a person who reads my blog, but has never met me, is a hater. My first reaction is to appreciate any audience, but I also feel empathy for this person. While the uncomfortable feeling of despise runs through his or her veins, I am ignorant of the negativity while simultaneously, joyfully living my life.
If my spirit could levitate above my body, observing an aerial view of my life path, I’m sure she would feel the urge to voice her opinion about the decisions made by the Me that’s running the show down on the physical plane. I am a believer that every occurrence serves its purpose, but I can’t help think that with hindsight on my side, I would have directed my steps differently a few times over the past few decades. If I had known how certain decisions were going to play out, I may have been persuaded to detour. Plenty examples come to mind, such as my college major choice, 1/2 head shaved purple hairstyle and a couple of marriages.
Although I can offer deliberate focus to create the life that is up ahead of me, the truth of the matter is – I don’t have 20/20 vision. I don’t have a Future Me that can offer an opinion to Present Me. I only have the guidance of my gut to know if what I’m currently doing is in my best interest. I am purposely not thinking about the past because I have grown beyond that version of Me, and I am purposely not thinking about the opinions of others. I am also devoted to not spending any air time forming an opinion about others because my focus is too precious to be wasted. My guidance for 2020 is based solely on my goal to be happy in this moment. I aim to make each decision moving forward grounded in my joy, which will then flow onto those around me.
Love this! I hope as we all get a little further through life we figure out how to listen to and acknowledge our own gut instinct. I’ve made decisions that I own & probably have made others wonder” does she know what she’s doing?” The answer is quite simple…yes-
If I don’t know , I will figure it out…
love your insight!
Thanks for reading, chica! I resonate with many of the posts you make. Staying positive is oftentimes a lonely decision. 🙂