One year and a few days ago, I published “No Wrong Time for Happy.” In that post, I mentioned losing my absolute shit to laughter in high school and still being able to specifically (& thankfully) recall those 15 minutes of my senior year. The words ‘Honor Society Bleacher Debacle’ will forever bring a smile to my eyes and cheeks instantly. Recently, I had the chance to meet up with a dear friend who holds a memory of that day with me.
This picture might be the Honor Society group, but on the actual day of ‘The Debacle’ we were wearing graduation robes of different colors. Each robe color represented a different value, described by each one of us, for an induction rehearsal in front of the entire school population. Tory and I are the 2nd row, alongside 4 other George Washington High School ladies. Don’t be thrown off by the black & white photo. I can assure you that we attended high school way after color photos were the norm, but our yearbook budget could only afford a few full-color spreads. Our hair styles (and the fact that my tennis shoes were green & purple to match my paisley shirt) should suffice as proof that this picture was snapped smack dab in the middle of the 90’s.
I remember my Teenage Me impressions of Tory. She was intelligent, pretty, kind and so.very.funny. Any amount of time spent with her was sure to include humor and her high energy was infectious.
Despite FaceBook’s downfalls, I have always appreciated how the platform allowed me to reconnect with my past friends. This picture was taken in 2010, and we again were accompanied by an adored GW lady. I hadn’t seen Tory in 16 years. She was still beautiful and intelligent and LoVeD to dance.
This memory was snapped in 2012. As you can see, Tory has a knack for simply enjoying the moment at hand, which makes her spirit very magnetic. Anyone who knows her would surely agree that you leave happier after being in her presence.
Tory and her husband, Jonnathan, were married 17 years this past October 25th. When I saw her anniversary post, I knew I wanted to hear how the couple met. When I sat with her to chat, I started by telling her that I find joy in writing about good, happy couples. In true contemplative Tory fashion, she asked me what I considered a good, happy couple. I may have touched upon this before in some of my other How They Met stories, and I can only hope my thoughts came out in written form way more eloquently than what my mouth produced:
- I can feel the couples’ love and respect for each other when I’m around them.
- I’ve never heard them speak disrespectfully to or about each other.
- They don’t make me feel crin-gy when in their presence.
If I could go back and edit my spoken words, I would say it’s not a set of adjectives, it’s a feeling-optimistic & peaceful. They embody 1 Corinthians 13. Their relationships give me hope for me and for love.
Tory recalled that she and Jonnathan met at the Sugar Shack in Indianapolis. She was headed to get a drink when their eyes met. The rest, she said is history. He later told her he had set out to get a girlfriend that night. I knew Tory had a daughter just a few years old at that time, so I asked her what Jonnathan had thought about her having a child. My line of thinking of the time was that a young man in his 20s might be scared off with the responsibility that comes with a child, especially one that wasn’t his own. Since then, I’ve realized that any person of any age has the potential and right to be frightened of a relationship that brings along extra humans. Tory said she didn’t remember ever asking him how he felt about her being a mom back in the day, so she texted him. His answer? Tory being a mom made him believe she would not be selfish or self-centered. In other words, it was more of a blessing than a downfall.
“The rest is history” shouldn’t be mistaken for “the rest was easy.” I almost made this mistake because I have never heard the couple argue and have never heard my friend grumble about her man, or anything, really. Tory assured me there were ups & downs along the way, which I’ve learned simply can’t be avoided when we are traveling along the roller coaster of life. (I’d be remiss to ignore the notion that we may enjoy the hills more because of our experiences in the valley). I asked Tory what she thought helped the most through the rough spots. She gave credit to growth in communication, not only between each other, but also with a few other Christian couples they began meeting in a church group. Sharing marriage journeys with other faith-filled men and women was a supportive strength.
Tory and Jonnathan have raised two beautiful, intelligent, athletic daughters with bright spirits that match their mom’s. They welcomed a son-in-law into their family this past year. My time spent around them together has been minimal, but, with certainty, I can say I feel their love. They respect each other and simply feel peaceful to be around. Adding ‘Slayer of the Written Word’ to her list of attributes, Tory shared the following knowledge on her anniversary post:
“Highlights of what I’ve learned on this marriage journey: love is a verb spoken in 5 languages; to a man, love = respect; harsh words cause deep wounds – be quick to listen and slow to speak; counseling works if you’ll be vulnerable/honest, actively listen, & do the work; the grass is not greener- water your own lawn; comparison is the thief of joy; forgive often; romance is intentional; God’s way is the best way. To Him be the glory.”
I would describe Tory & Jonnathan’s marriage as mature. Our ‘Honor Society Bleacher Debacle’ was just the opposite. Instead of witty, this ridiculous memory is straight slap stick humor…
Each member of the Honor Society had to take turns getting off a small set of bleachers that was set up on the stage at the front of the auditorium. Individually, we walked up to a microphone to explain what our robe color represented. On my walk to the microphone, I heard a gut-wrenching Creeeeeek. I turned in time to watch, in slow motion, the small set of bleachers crack down the center, followed by a tumbling & toppling inwards of bodies. If you can imagine bowling pins cloaked in colored graduation robes falling in towards an earthquake fault line, then you are seeing the image I witnessed in front of my eyes that day.
The lumped pile of graduation caps & gowns and arms & legs finally untwisted. Heads were lifted, classmates stood. There was no blood, there were no concussions- everyone was okay. A tiny moment of disbelieving silence took place. Then followed the loudest, rolling, unrestrained laughter a high school auditorium filled with hundreds of teenagers could create. For minutes, George Washington High School was united in belly roaring howling. When it had all quieted down, normal life was supposed to resume, and I still had to read about the meaning of my white robe in the microphone.
I’ve been told before I have an old soul. I’ve even experienced moments where I felt engulfed by an inner-knowing spirit. This was not either one of those times. I attempted to speak about that robe, but I only made it 3 words in. A quiver took over my voice, and then a loud squealing, sputtering-type sound rushed out of my mouth. I could not unsee what I had just seen. Hysteria ensued and I led the entire school back down the road of cry ’til you almost puke once again. I stutter laughed and shook so often during that one page speech that my principal had to reprimand me for the first time in four years. “Now Amanda.” Somehow, I got to the last period on that paper.
Knowing I shared the experience of ‘The Bleacher Debacle’ with the other Honor Society members helped me focus through my speech the evening we had to perform the induction a 2nd time in front of a parent audience. My classmates knew what I knew and we all had to be strong or go down together. This must be the same type of reinforcement provided by Tory & Jonathan’s marriage couple groups. There is understanding, knowledge and strength in a shared experience.
Quintessential Timing placed Tory & me on the stage together that day in a silly moment that will forever embody joy. Jonnathan and his future wife showed up to the Sugar Shack on the same night because they followed the guidance of divine timing, and that moment led to a forever love.
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