Blessings in Adversity
If I know you or interact with you in any way, you will end up in something I write. I am couth enough to change names and somewhat skew identities, but my life is the people I share it with-and I write about my life. This post is about someone I recently met. I told him that I am the author of a blog (although I’m not sure he retained that information). However, I am in no way concerned that he or his inner circle (or family or friends, or extended outer circle, etc.) will ever take the time to read written word for enjoyment, so I feel very safe in relaying this story.
I’ve heard it said many times, “You don’t know what you want until you know what you Don’t want.” I was given the opportunity to come to a deep understanding of this saying. Spending time at the gym is just about my only free time around other sober adults, so I have been rather eager about attending my local Planet Fitness. Seeing that my hormones can only be compared to those of a teenager’s, I admit to enjoying some eye candy to entertain myself during cardio. One piece is featured above. (I believe I am within legal rights to be able to share this since he was more than eager to send it to my phone). After at least a month of me staring at his ab and pectoral workout, he finally got the hint and handed me his business card with, “Text me :-)” inscribed on the back.
Looking back, I really could have used the clues of Ninja Turtle and Batman t-shirts as some clear cut information, but, hey, I’m not decked out in Under Armor during all my workouts either. His email address on the card had a year in it: 1988. If you have read some of my past posts, you know that puts me at over a decade older than this guy. Still yet, “age ain’t nothin’ but a number,” some people are very mature for their age, yadda yadda, I figured what the heck. A few text chats were exchanged and we set a time to work on abs simultaneously.
It took me under thirty minutes to realize he and I had exactly two things in common: working out and being heterosexual. As I’m the type of person who necessitates learning a lesson thoroughly, I had Mr. Millennial come to my house for what I can only assume he considered an open invitation to solely talk about his likes and dislikes while I sat politely listening and nodding. When he arrived, I opened the door to a big puff of vape smoke, which was followed by an hour or so gleaning riveting information about the dude. He is a millennial who enjoys chasing Poke’mon (I think chasing them is the right term?) and spends free nights watching drivers in souped up cars with big speakers loudly burn out their tires. He loves pretty rocks (who doesn’t?) but, he extra loves them, meaning he spends hundreds of dollars weekly to add to a rock collection that he one day will hopefully have a house to display them in.
I am sincere in saying that I don’t judge any of his interests as bad. They are just not for me. I’m sure there is some vaping, Poke’mon chasing, burn-out/loud speaker enjoying princess out there that will be his match made in heaven. The reason I felt moved to write about this non-match is that I found myself not feeling upset in the least bit. In fact, I found myself smiling while he talked (quite possibly forgetting I was sitting beside him). Usually I am not this knowledgeable until retrospect, but this time, smack dab in the middle of the interchange, I was in full understanding. THIS IS TO REMIND YOU WHAT YOU DON’T WANT!
For the first half of this year, I have spent time discerning what I’ve learned from my past relationships. I must have respect from my partner. No excuse of life stress, lack of sleep, or over indulgence in liquor makes getting choked or called a “ghetto a$$ b” acceptable. Ever. I desire someone who wakes up happy and eager at the prospect of a new day. Therefore, I have figured out that I want a nice, happy man. That’s not exactly a rocket-science revelation. Hot gym guy helped me realize that I needed to up my level of specificity in my desire. In my Letter to the Universe post, I said, “Whatever details you leave out (in your desire) will be filled in for you.” This experience proved to me that, once again, I needed to take my own advice. I truly believe that worry is abuse of our gift of imagination. Humans have the ability to guide what we focus upon. I believe the amount of time it takes for us to change any unwanted situation is directly correspondent to how long it takes us to use that very adversity to shift our focus onto what we do want. I realize some adversity is more serious, and, thus, harder to turn attention away from. Still yet, I am celebrating this small achievement of spending no time on sad or mad and just realizing this quick lesson was simply to help me clarify my focus, again.
Love your words ! Thanks for the reminder of knowing “what I don’t want”
😉🤔
Live each day to the fullest. 😘