Case of C.S.M.A.D.
Hello there. Thanks for clicking. Are you thinking that you may have C.S.M.A.D., too? If I suggested this post to you in Messenger, I suspect you do. I’ve had the symptoms for years now, like when watching a movie with the fam actually is my code for a very opportune time to pay bills or fold laundry. However, while participating in a recent challenge, my indications increased significantly. This past Thursday marked exactly two weeks of not drinking alcohol. Or, for those who enjoy catchy, not quite rhyming phrases: Dos Semanas, Sin Cervezas.
When sacrificing things in the past, I realized that, for me, the key to replacing one habit is to establish a new one. I’m guessing this is the same concept of why smokers may report gaining weight when trying to quit; they exchange the hand to mouth of sticking a cig in their pie hole with poking food in.
A hot tea to cap off my night has been the predominant replacement for sitting down to a glass of wine in the evening. Even though I still sweeten it with sugar, it must be less than the amount found in my previous adult beverages of choice. That’s the only explanation I have for dropping 3 lbs. after one week of the challenge with no effort given on losing weight whatsoever.
Besides tea, though, I’ve replaced drinking liquor with staying busy as hell, or in other words, I have a case of ‘Can’t Sit My Ass Down’ (C.S.M.A.D.). For example, I called in sick from work for the first time in 6 years. My eyeballs burned and I ached with fever all night. My nose ceased all breathing functions while simultaneously increasing drips and sneezes. Still yet, at 10:30 am, when I finally took my new Cuddle Buddy outside to entice an outdoor bathroom break, I began my mental to-do list for my sick day:
- Dig up & move 3 plants in my front yard
- Lay weed fabric
- Purchase & lay rocks
Then my spaghetti brain traveled down the natural path to contemplation of house projects next in line:
- Paint bottom trim in the kitchen
- Rip up the kitchen flooring I laid last month & re-lay it in a more appealing fashion
- Organize coupons in an aesthetically pleasing, functional container
- Organize new puppy & back-to-school paperwork
My mind then rolled to my immediate personal necessities:
- Return something at Kroger & buy medicine that permits you to breathe
- Get a pedicure
- Wash, fold & put away all laundry
- Clean dishes
- Clean the puppy’s bedding
- Begin writing a blog post
Believe me folks, I’m annoyed at my own inability to chill. I’m almost ashamed to admit that I even considered going for a run to sweat the germs out. Thankfully, I came to my senses and realized that I didn’t need cardio to sweat; I was breaking a fever in the 82 degree weather. (How do summer colds even exist?!)
I can’t give all of the credit for my productivity to abstaining from alcohol. I vaguely recall my parents referring to me as having “ants in the pants syndrome” when I was a kid (a.k.a. I was hyper a f even back then.) I have noticed, though, that when I previously would have been relaxing while enjoying a drink, I now occupy my time with busy-ness.
In the past 14 days, outside of my baseline 40 hour work week, I have: painted a shed, a bathroom & half a basement, worked out, donated plasma (yes, that side gig biz again), worked a Colt’s game and elegantly embodied the role of Fierce Mom. (Minus the word ‘elegantly’.)
Amidst all of the action, though, Eckhart Tolle’s wisdom about “The Power of Now” kept popping in my mind. Like last weekend, when a friend asked me, “When do you rest?” her question conjured the same response that I had to the 5 Year Plan inquiry = “Ummmmmm.”
Therefore, for the second half of depriving myself of something I enjoy just to prove I can, I set out to relish a few stone sober moments on purpose. I will stop A.D.D. cleaning the house from time to time to breathe deeply. I will deliberately put my C.S.M.A.D. in check for a minute or two to center myself-the me that’s not under the influence of alcohol or busy-ness. I won’t be tipsy, I won’t be doing, I will just be. Hell, I might even throw caution to the wind and watch a movie while not accomplishing anything else!
When I sit down to my first glass of wine (at precisely 4:00 pm on Sun., Sept. 15th) I think it will feel like visiting with an old friend. Our relationship will have changed, but for the better. Una Mes, No Cerveza has proven to me once again that, like most things in life, when I enjoy in moderation, I am able to yield a deeper appreciation.