The Woman Strong



Dial It Back In

As 2021 approached, I started reading Jen Sincero’s new release about habits. She suggests writing down 3 good habits that have always come naturally, 3 good habits that were intentionally established and 3 goal habits. Because I’m Me, I only kinda sorta followed her directions. My celebratory ones were:

  • breaking a soda/pop/cola addiction after 30 years (as you can see, my parents started me young on the strong stuff)
  • always following up a tooth brushing with flossing
  • deliberately setting aside time to listen to positive podcasts or high frequency music near daily

Then I jumped right into self progression.

I used to religiously down a vitamin pack every day and even wrote that the benefits of doing so was one of the few certain things I’ve come to know. But, because I can be humanly lazy and forgetful, I’ve steered away from that habit. So, I chose getting back into that habit as one of my 3 to dos in 2021.

Next up, I chose stretching beyond the norm of Me at least once each month. I find that I can get very routine in my ways, which could arguably be a block to progression. I’ve mentioned before how I may, more often than not, prefer solitude and quietness. I’m presuming it’s because of this that it takes me more time than it should to pick up the phone and call another human. Or, sometimes, a fabulous idea comes to mind but it stays in the imagination realm because I never stop what I’m doing to act out the thought. So, with baby steps in mind, I’ve set a goal to push outside my own little box at least once a month. I will call a person without hem hawing first or act on an impulse (even if it means laundry and dishes get behind) at least 12 times in ’21.

And…finally, even though I’m not usually one for setting weight loss goals at the beginning of the year because it’s just so cliche’, it has become brutally evident that it is time to join the masses.  I have been telling myself I need to rein it back in for awhile now since I’ve noticed I feel a lot like that guinea pig looks. I had been on a strong roll of working out up until December 2019, maintaining a consistent 117 pounds. Then, instead of coming home from a day at the office to change and head straight to the gym, I started spending time with my guapo amigo. (Yep, the TacOcaT one). This fellow loves to cook & experiment with new recipes, which is both a blessing and a curse. Happiness = gordo for this chica.

A few months into 2020 turned most of our worlds upside down. I wasn’t exactly heart broken when my gym closed and when it reopened I was already accustomed to running a mile outdoors a few times a week followed by a simple weight routine at home. Cue in Indiana’s winter weather. Although I’m certain that I’m strong as nails, running in less than 70 degree weather just isn’t fun. And I like fun.

From the outside looking in, I don’t think I look ‘swoll’ or anything, and my yoga pants still fit, but I know from experience that there are not many options for extra weight to go on a 5’1″ frame. I’ve tried convincing myself that this is the curvier, more voluptuous Me. Deep down, though, I know it’s more about how I feel than how I look. And I feel about as sexy as that Shar-Pei.

Recently, I spent some time in a hotel and was able to reignite my love for running on the fitness room treadmill. My endorphins kicked in each day I ran one mile. I was energized and happy. As for holiday eating, I felt I did a decent job of moderation; I neither denied nor gorged. I walked into work on the Monday after New Year and weighed myself. 130 pounds. No bueno. Remember the 140 lb. Me that looks like I have eaten Me? Knowing I haven’t gained even one inch of height since my last pregnancy, I was properly scared into action mode.

Even though I despise the time commitment and expense, I begrudgingly considered rejoining the gym. But, just in the nick of time, a friend texted & mentioned Dry January. This was the perfect slight tweak that could start a good momentum. I would be ashamed to know my caloric intake from tasty libations and I recalled my sister once lost a quick 10 lbs. when she gave up cola/soda/pop. (same parents from pic above) By the end of the first week, I convinced myself and my friend, that to remain invigorated about this endeavor and to feel like I have any fun in life, I permit myself 1 cheat day each week.

By Friday of the same week, without any altering of my eating habits or normal activities, I was down to 125. Maybe I was wearing a lighter sweater, but I’ll take it! This past Saturday, I enjoyed my first cheat day while cheering on my heart-breaking home team. I was asleep by the end of drink #2. This reminded me of 2 related truths that I already knew but tend to forget:

  • absence of anything creates more appreciation for its presence
  • saturation of anything causes less effect and less appreciation

Passenger actually sings a very good song about this contrast. When I go out to eat over and over, I can’t wait to have a home-cooked meal. When I’m surrounded by incessant sound, I crave silence. Sex is a little bit more fire-worky when it’s been awhile. And, when I enjoy my vices a little too often, they sincerely aren’t as enjoyable.

My Dry January friend & I have both completed a 13.1 mile road race. I’m pretty sure she takes Top Bada$ when it comes to distance running, having completed more consecutive miles than a mini, which is a feat I haven’t and won’t do. This shared success means we know mind over matter and won’t quit. Cheat days help me avoid suffocating on lack of freedom, which would lead to a piss poor attitude. By February 3rd I have to muster enough confidence to don a bathing suit al sur de la frontera. With an abundance of ridiculously over-complicated water and my desire set on a manifested treadmill, I’m nearly convinced this habit may serve me longer than a month or a year.

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