The Woman Strong

Massages & Cocktails at Kid Sporting Events - One Mom's Dream

My first attempt at this post resulted in the creation of a full on bitch session about kid sports.  Alas, no one wants to read a mom rant and awhile back I made a promise to myself that the words I bring forth in written form shall conclude in positivity, humor, connections and forward progress.  I am that friend who edits my texts and sends corrections with an asterisk after the original text.  I have even started writing my grocery list in Spanish because I somehow think it will attract to me another trip to Mexico.  (Necistamos mas leche.)  My kids are really disturbed by this.  So, while I still allow myself to verbally have full on venting and rage sessions, to honor my sacredness of written word, I revamped, attempting to withdraw any negative vibration about this topic.  I hope to bring forth a chuckle and nod from others who can empathize with the crazy life created when the children of the family are committed to sports.  I do not think my words will change the face of youth sports in America.  If the powers-that-be of the kid’s sports world move forward with my idea of offering massage chairs and cocktails at their events, then that’ll be a bonus.

Before anyone gets their jock straps in a bunch, let me say that I love sports.  While I’m not all that invested in wins and losses until a championship is on the line, I fully support interests that result in passion, energy, movement, motivation and fun.  I enjoy spending a sunny weekend day watching my son play baseball and an autumn Friday night rooting on our high school’s football team.  I would actually choose that over many other alternatives, like shopping or clubbing (at least for sure when the when the weather is cooperating).  There comes a time every baseball and wrestling season, though, that I look around and wonder have we all gone mad?  I’m afraid the collective of parents, coaches and athletes have lost focus on the end goal of sports and games.  And, since I don’t own a sport’s franchise or have stock in athletic gear, I believe that goal is enjoying fun-spirited competition and improving health.  I rarely see smiling faces on anyone at the events besides the winning team, and even they often-times have a more bewildered, exhausted grimace than a grin.

I realize there’s a vast amount of sports and I’m sure each one is handled a bit differently.  A friend of mine recently told me of a soccer club in Indy (Millennium Soccer Association) that is specifically focused on NOT making their team about the income, so this at least tells me the word is out there and some morality exists.  In my circle, it seems most parents with kids in sports have a common theme of exhaustion and exasperation about the price associated with the sport.  The article from last year in Time Magazine, How Kid Sports Turned Pro shows me that this isn’t just happening here in Indiana.

Travel baseball for my son costs well over $1,000 a year.  Believe me, I would be fine with him going down to the corner Little League for about $100 a year, wearing a uniform that has ten advertisements on the back, getting in about twenty games a season, having a great time with some friends and calling it done.  But, his dad is a coach.  Somewhere along the lines the stakes increased to better competition and more game time.  I am confident that my son is not going to be a professional baseball player.  I’m fairly confident that he knows that as well.  I think his dad knows this too, but wants to volunteer his time coaching kids who play the sport at a higher level. I don’t have it all figured out but I do know that you choose which battles you want to fight.  This battle is bigger than me and wouldn’t be worth the stress of rebuking.  And, it gives me something to write about.

Entry fees.  Let’s start right here.  We pay money for our children to play a sport and then we are asked to pay to watch them play that sport.  I still can’t wrap my head around this one, but I know They know they have parents by the balls, because we aren’t going to invest time and money in a sport and then not watch the fruit of our labor, so I just bend over and ask how much when I walk up to the gates.  I’ve encountered a slew of price ranges, none of which make any mathematical sense.  The general range has been $5 (daily) – $20 per person.  The $20 is usually at a nicer facility, like Grand Park in Noblesville, Indiana, where some shaded seating is provided, but in terms of wrestling, seating is not a given.  (The gathering of a wrestling meet involves so many lawn chairs that you wonder if you’ve mistakenly arrived at a camping retreat.)  The higher priced entries are usually related to the importance of the event; i.e. sectional tournaments cost more than just a run-of-the-mill weekend tournament.  For wrestling, I’ve bought a $10 bracelet that allowed me to get in for three days, but as they strapped it on my wrist, I was told if it were broken or cut, I would have to buy a new one.  Knowing myself, I went to the ATM for more cash on the drive home.

I once arrived an hour early to watch a baseball game, paid a non-refundable $7, watched a down pour approach and begin 10 minutes before the game, which resulted in watching 0 innings of baseball.  In other words, I paid to watch the boys stretch and warm up.  I’ve also spent hundreds of dollars in $15 increments at the same location for years upon years – the parking lot is and has always been gravel, the scoreboards are rarely in use, the restrooms have plumbing issues and the umpires are teenagers who aren’t known for charging large hourlies for their time and expertise.  To say entry fees are put towards the upkeep of the facility would be a very long stretch.  My conclusion in all of this is that the cost of watching the game is directly related to how many hands are in the pot on the other end.

I despise alarm clocks.  I believe that the body innately knows how much sleep it needs to stay healthy.  Waking up Monday-Friday before my body is ready is not ideal, but I do it so that my kids and I can eat, retain shelter and utilize an internet connection 24-7.  Setting an alarm on the weekend is literally sacrilegious to my core and just plain stomps on my happy vibe.  However, the near 100 games of baseball my son plays a year, and the 15 or so wrestling meets my other son participates in, requires their bodies to arrive at the events about 7 am on Saturday or Sunday.  Most of the baseball games take an hour of travel, and as I try not to let non-family members see what I look like straight upon regaining consciousness, this results in an alarm clock buzzing about 5 am on non-working days.  FML.  This lack of sleep surely explains the lackluster expressions on all of the faces at the sporting events.  Everyone is just too damned tired to smile!

Wrestling events are all day sagas inside of a gym.  (My niece was in gymnastics, which I vaguely remember as very similar.)  It’s cold as hell in Indiana during wrestling season, so it’s not like I’m missing out on a poolside day, but all day inside of the same 4 corners and 4 walls is a bit cramped to say the least.  Baseball tournaments usually consist of 2 games a day, and upwards of possibly 4-6 games, but there is no time to go accomplish something and return to the park between games.  If we add in the time commitment of traveling to and from practices a few nights a week, it is easy to see how the free time of a family is absorbed into the sport commitment of one member.  My friend who is a mom with 4 kids currently playing a sport posted the comment above on FaceBook last week.  Sadly, when our schedules are so full with sports, homework and downtime are pushed to the side and fast food is the option most used to fuel the family.

Some parents that are admittedly better at planning ahead than me pack fruit and sandwiches in coolers for a long day of sports.  I wish I could be like them, but I’m struggling to get a uniform through the wash cycle and three kids in bed by 11 pm, so ice abundance and food preparedness are slightly out of my reach.  Some of the events do not allow coolers to be brought into the stadium anyhow and walking a mile to my car every time hydration calls sometimes doesn’t seem worth the effort.  Also, four baseball games in 90 degree weather takes its toll on ice and chilled food in even the best cooler.  So, I turn to the concession stand, where a plethora of sugary drinks and salty snacks are offered.  I have attended a few events where biscuits and gravy was on the breakfast menu and some fresh veggies were put together in Ziplocs with sides of ranch.  I was pleased with the effort (not that biscuits and gravy tops the list of healthy eats) but the reality of eating options while inundated with a sports schedule is a choice between nachos, hot dogs, hamburgers, popcorn and french fries.

While I haven’t sat and written my Letter to the Universe about my ideal sport season for my kids, I have spent some time envisioning what would make some of the events I’ve attended just a little more fun for us all.  The ideas so far include:
  • Offer healthy choices for food at the concession stand (or at least let me bring my own food in).
  • Offer adult beverages at the games.  I realize this goes against my whole healthy view point but I was moreso focused on the health of the athletes.  While I’m sure there are some rules about liquor licenses inside of youth stadiums, I can’t help but imagine a margarita stand out in the parking lot.  (Disclaimer: I don’t expect them to be as big as the one in the pic above.  That was just one I had once that was so delicious it deserved a picture.)  Of course parents who are already too hyped up about the umps’ calls can be refused to be served, but for the responsible drinkers out there, I think a couple of festive drinks could help to take the fun atmosphere of kid sports up a notch.
  • Provide something fun for the fans.  I believe a few massage chairs that cost $1.00 to run, like the ones in the mall, would be easy to set up and put to great use to offset the numb asses created by metal bleachers.  A bouncy something for the siblings, a movie…literally anything that will help the family feel like their life isn’t completely taken over by this sport would be a nice gesture.

In conclusion, I simply wish kid sports could get back to being more fun for everyone that is involved and seem less about the almighty dollar.  It would be cool if the athletes (some who are so young they still believe in Santa) could be reminded that they are playing a game and it is supposed to be fun.  Maybe some of the coaches and parents could be reminded of that as well.  I also would appreciate if the owners of the sport’s complexes and the individuals who set up the tournaments could stop for a second and realize they are affecting families, not just the kids on the team.  My insides cringed once while I watched two older men carry a mom in a wheelchair across the gravel parking lot that I mentioned earlier.  She just wanted to see her son play baseball, which was not made a simple feat in this instance.  The money the park received from even one team’s registration fees over the course of the last 20 years would have paid for pavement.  Therefore, it would be nice if the money hungriness of it all could take a step back so that humanity could be taken into account.  The time commitment involved is probably not going to alter with so much momentum already going.  Changing that would be like trying to trek up a sand dune, starting from the bottom, which I’ve done before and the attempt resulted in my giving up and sinking to my knees and sobbing.  So, setting a goal of making the time fun for all in attendance would be a great start.  

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