As a young girl, I never slept soundly the night before the first day of a new school year. I had the classic dream of showing up to my classroom in my undies or perhaps dressed but lacking all of the necessary school supplies. Or I would dream of any other given scenario correlating with feeling anxious. The dreams weren’t always elaborate or memorable, but restlessness the night before a new school year continued on through high school and university.
Continue forward, into what feels like another lifetime to Now Me, I utilized my (not-yet paid-for) college degrees & educated the minds of elementary kiddos. Although I was in and out of my classroom throughout the summer, about a week before the students arrived, the dreams always began again.
My subconscious knew I was on the other side of the desk; no school supplies switched to unprepared lesson plans. Or, I wouldn’t get my students to dismissal on time and they all missed their rides home. (This actually happened in real life once, but we were a few weeks into the school year.) Many teachers, myself included, read First Day Jitters by Julie Danneberg, on the first day of school. That’s how I started putting two and two together. If other teachers also felt butterflies about the first day of school, surely their subconscious minds were picking up on it. And so, I decided Teacher Dreams must be a thing.
Skip a few more trips around the sun to when I broke my foot. Yadda yadda and I left a 15 year teaching streak to begin working from home in small business payroll and accounting. I had peace about the exit and still feel that I made the right decision. I had been disgruntled about my job during my last few years and needed a change. (Make that, I wanted out so bad that I considered leaving my position to work at the zoo cleaning up elephant poop.)
I left my teaching career about 10 years ago and have averaged about one Teacher Dream a month for each of those years. There’s no discernable pattern to when I have one, with the exception of Back to School time. When friends start up with their Back to School posts and my kids bring their supply lists to my attention, my subconscious wheels must start turning.
Last week, the R.E.M. stage of my slumber included my job share teacher partner. We were both in the classroom during the first full week of school, just like we were back in the day in real life. She was impressing me with her leadership skills and I tried quieting 30 7-year-olds with a repeat of “sh, sh, sh-sh-sh.” I still had that feeling of questioning myself, “Do I even know what I’m doing here?” I woke up with that panicky feeling which turned to relief, when realizing it was just a dream.
People have asked if I miss teaching. I miss the art of educating (not forced rote reading from the teacher manual). I miss imparting knowledge to kids and hanging out daily with a slew of interesting and funny (albeit exhausting) little characters. The intrinsic reward felt when a student’s eyes light up with an ah-ha moment is incomparable. Teaching a child how to read is obviously super special. I don’t miss constant testing and unsupportive administration and ungrounded parents. When COVID changed the environment of the classroom, I flirted with the idea of online teaching until I took a minute to remember that the parts of teaching that forced me out of the profession are still there. Many of my teacher friends seem just as or even more strung out and stressed than they were a decade ago.
I am curious to know if teachers that retired after a long career in education still have Teacher Dreams, or if they are engrained in me because I cut my time in the classroom short. I was once told that in another of my lifetimes, I was a teacher in a one room schoolhouse. If this is true, maybe my soul has been in education so long that it’s embedded in my subconscious and, subsequently, in my dreams. Or, maybe, whenever I feel a lack in my preparedness, my brain goes with what it knows. I’ve spent 32 of my 46 years in a classroom so it’s possible that my dreams are just playing the odds of what I’m worrying about.
Regardless of why I still have Teacher Dreams, I plan to transform the squirmy feeling I have when I awaken to gratitude: Gratitude for my current, peaceful form of income and gratitude for the angels on Earth who are still called to the profession of instruction. 95 out of 100 teachers that I have spent time with are doing their absolute best. Their time, efforts and hearts are affecting our tomorrows. To any teachers that feel stuck or underappreciated, I send blessings to you and I am confident that other current and former teachers do the same. Thank you, teachers, for working doggedly (a.k.a. working your asses off) and please know you are in my thoughts and prayers…and dreams. And, I hope it helps a little to know that if and when you miss the dismissal bell (that end of the day read aloud must have been really good), the worst that happens is you work a little later and call a bunch of parents and the world still spins. Take a deep breath, relax & enjoy those young humans.
Hello my little flower girl! I’ve been retired for 6 years and I STILL have those dreams, one or two a month. Some are me working with students, or prepping for class. Some are HORROR STORIES, dealing with the drug crazed students I dealt with that final year at Tech, or that last year at Edison. You know I LOVED teaching. It was what I was born to do. (I REALLY found that out October 4, 2015 in a dream/vision while In London. I won’t go into the details, but it was pretty bizarre.) I tried to do what MY teachers did, make learning interesting. But then testing became education’s demi god. Don’t make learning fun, just concentrate on getting scores up. Then were a couple years when IPS spent millions for a organization that insisted teachers all teach the same thing on the same day, no diversion. That resulted in me leaving middle school for high school.
On the lighter side, my novel, KARMA AND CRISIS, the sequel to KARMA AND CRIME, has been accepted for publication. On September 24, I’ll be with 3 other writers doing a signing at Trios Restaurant two blocks from home.
YOU MOST CERTAINLY ARE NOT ALONE ABOUT SCHOOL! I have 2 teachers I worked with who I consider my “sisters” who feel wretched about being back in class. Re Your Foot – I broke an ankle back in March. I HATED that boot!!!!!!!
Mr. B
Your comment made me smile the whole time I read it. Most of the time I’m just filtering through spam. I, too, experienced the “all teachers on the same thing at the same time” and I’m just not made like that. When dealing with diverse humans, I don’t even comprehend how the powers that be think that would work. Anyhoo, congratulations on the sequel! I’m truly happy for you and hope I can follow in your footsteps (except I’ll skip that boot.) Ha!
Amanda, This will be year 29 for me. I still have those dreams…… kids come in and I don’t know what I’m teaching and I’m not prepared and they are cray. Boy, job sharing and teaching together that first week of school together. That was a very special time in my teaching career!!! I’ll always love ya for what you taught me! I’m very proud that you have found your happy! You know my happy is being with the littles. (I’m NOT all about the data! ) 🤦🏼♀️
Clearly, I’m still not the writer in this duo. I just found a misspelled word in my reply!!!!!’n
You are so funny. I can edit on the back end so you are all good. lol
Hey Job Share Partner! Thanks for stopping in! 🙂 You said it best to me one time…listen at the meetings and then go back to the classroom and close the door and teach those kiddos. I’m convinced that’s the only way to stay sane in the profession. I’m guessing when we taught together, we used to share those cray dreams. lol You were meant to be in the classroom; you are truly one of the best! Love ya and enjoy your littles!
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