My last blog post covered the ins and outs that I have learned in accepting payments, specifically for small businesses, but the concept applies to monetary transactions across the board. My teenage kids send money electronically in the blink of an eye, but I’ve found people a generation+ over me still prefer to utilize cash or check. I’m sure my parents and like-minded folk find payment in the ethers untrustworthy and uncomfortable. On the topic of payments, I landed somewhere in the gray middle, appreciating the pureness (and privacy) of cash but also loving the convenience of immediate deposits.
Then this blog post began forming in my mind and my original stance wasn’t gray at all. Instead, I caught myself thinking how much I disliked purchasing clothes online and was ready to bash the hell out of the process, succumbing to the fact that actual live shopping is a necessary evil for at least clothes. And I wanted it to be different. I don’t like traffic, lines, or that many humans (if we’re being honest), so it would behoove me to be able to shop online successfully. Then it dawned on me that I was falling on the old fogie side of this topic. So I decided to caution about the bad side of online shopping, while still acknowledging that it isn’t ALLÂ bad, therefore keeping my gray stance in life.
What I’m hashing out here is the miserable purchasing experiences I’ve had when allowing myself to be tempted to buy a clothing item from a FaceBook ad. Amazon Prime, on the other hand, has made making purchases show up at my door quickly (along with a very simple return process) damn near frightening. In fact, I’m actually nervous enough about my purchasing power on Amazon Prime that I only allow myself to order one item and follow this act by immediately setting my phone down and walking away.Â
My average was near perfect: After being a happy (try not to think about the terms you just agreed to) FaceBook user for a decade, I had been persuaded to purchase from an ad that was tailored to my conversations and thoughts on only one occasion. I recently folded a second time, which is the inspiration for this post. While the purchase was in process, I had the thought that if it turned out like the first time, I could use the experience as research in the name of writing. In other words, I most definitely mind-fucked the entire process with my anticipated thought.
Let me jump back to the first time I was duped. It was fallish and I saw an ad for long socks with various funny characters. The socks were the style at the time for teenagers, so I knew my son and his cousin would appreciate them. I ordered my son, Sam, who enjoys a good political conversation – the Uncle Sam socks pictured. His cousin attended Cathedral High School at the time, so he had to receive the Irish Dude character. The boys’ birthdays were Oct. 1st and Nov. 24th, so I had hopes of the socks arriving in time for those celebrations. Alas, the birthdays came and went, as did Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Year’s Day, with no new socks. Sometime in February the pairs showed up. While they were appreciated (evident by the fact that they were still around for a picture in 2022), the hoopla surrounding footwear for Valentine’s day was lackluster.
Years passed and I was always able to scroll on past advertisements that were suited specifically to my innermost yearnings on any given afternoon. However, on Friday, May 19, 2022, on a little free time before my lunch break, I was weak. I had a beach vacation in my near future and had worn the same shirts on rotation so often that I was bored of looking at myself in a mirror. The top that sucked me in was the blue & white vertical lined sleeveless with a cut that could perhaps hide my underarm boob. It was made of a light-weight material and wasn’t tight on the mom tum area. Maybe I was experiencing a fat day or a good shoulder day; regardless, I clicked, and here I am a few months later with a story to tell about a lesson re-learned in the name of research.
Once I entered the site, I read that there was free shipping after spending $79, and I lost all control of myself. Beach Amanda was on one at this point. (“This black shirt has character and the model has a palm tree tattoo. I have a palm tree tattoo!”) Click, in the cart it went.
Looking back, I saw the signs and chose to ignore them. A missing word and period in the website introduction, the broken English in the return policy, additional and missing spaces in the site wording…all of these should have been flashing warning signals. Alas, I was salivating over the new additions to my wardrobe and couldn’t slow down enough to tap into common sense. The site quoted 10-15 business days as the typical amount of time an order could be expected. My shirts arrived 17 business days after I placed the order. Given my sock ordeal, I figured this was a good sign.
Because I’m me, I tried all of the shirts on as soon as they came…and hated them all. Knowing time was of the essence, I immediately scoured the fine print about Returns and Exchanges. It was a hot mess to say the least, but I got the gist: keep the tags on the products and contact the company’s customer service at the email address given within 30 days. After contacting, they would provide me with an authorization form and address to send the product back. I followed suit but did not receive a reply within a day, so I went to Arviy’s Facebook page and Instant Messaged the company. I also made a comment under one of the shirts inquiring about returns because I’ve learned that companies respond more quickly to consumers that are publicly posting their negative experiences.Â
When creating websites and social media accounts for businesses, I have also learned that companies have moderators approving or disapproving any comments made on their sites. So, I wasn’t surprised when my post about a return was quickly changed to a fire icon. (Important to note here, site reviews can be and most likely are created by said techy moderator, so they can be and most likely are phony and therefore shouldn’t be the basis of a purchasing decision whatsoever. )
- Arviy answered my first email by asking me if I could just keep the shirts and receive a refund of $20. My response was that I would be paying about $80 to keep 3 shirts that I would never wear. I asked for the form and shipping address mentioned on their website a second time, and explained that I understood that I would be responsible for the cost of getting the shirts back to them.Â
- 3 days later, Arviy asked if they could refund me $35, with me keeping the shirts, as the cost of shipping was too much or I would have to pay for the freight myself. I reiterated that I was okay with paying the price of shipping, or at least if they gave me their address I could do the math to see if the cost of shipping would be worth my while.Â
- 2 days later the company offered me $45 to keep the shirts, once again saying I would have to pay to ship the shirts to them if I returned them. They only gave me their address as “Dubai” so I decided to cut my losses as any more time spent on the dance of emails was going to drive me bonkers and my sanity is at least worth $50.
My lesson re-learned and topic for a blog post came at the value of $52.82. If any of the shirts in the 3 pictures above strike your fancy, let’s meet over lunch and I would be happy to gift any or all of them to someone that may get use out of them. My friend and I have decided that they are cute shirts but maybe my boobs are just shaped differently than the models in the pictures, which make the shirts fit funny. So, if you and I aren’t boob twins (and who is?!, you know) maybe they would look great on you! The tags are still attached but the black shirt now only has 2 straps on the shoulder because when I tried it back on to see if it was vacation worthy, I broke the stitches on one end of one strap and decided cutting the other end would feel better than taking time to sew it.
Since this exchange occurred, I have considered some of my other non-brick & mortar purchases. Thrive Causemetics came across as a make-up ad on my FaceBook and Instagram accounts, and after confirming that my hair stylist had purchased from them successfully, I forged forward and was not disappointed. My daughter has purchased clothes from SHEIN and been satisfied with the quality and timing (although, in my opinion, their clothes are for the non-mom tummy, non-underarm boob kind of ladies.) I have also went directly to company websites (rather than clicking from a social media ad) to order tea and baklava and Edible Arrangements, etc. etc. and have been happy each and every time. So, I’m back to posting up firmly in the gray area. I check for other’s (people I know) experiences with companies before making purchases. And, although I can’t believe I’m admitting it, I do find joy on random days during the week (when most other humans are at work) going into a store and actually experiencing the texture and function of a garment before having to discern any information about a purchase.Â
If you have read ’til here, I consider you my friend, so please do tell of any positive online clothing shopping experiences you have had in the comments. This will help me stay gray and, ironically, less old (in my mind at least).Â
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