The Woman Strong

What Not to Do #2

My brain is worth approximately $50,000. I received a free public education for grades K-12 in an inner city school system, but my Bachelor’s Degree cost $17,000 at the time of graduation and my Masters of Education was about $30k. With interest added, my mind’s appraisal will be equal to a good, solid house.

This is not bragging. My feelings are utterly the opposite of pride. Every red cent of that (red in that I still owe a majority of that figure) was spent by default instead of a well thought-out plan. The inspiration behind this 2nd What Not to Do post is me coming to grips with the fact that I’ve made some very wrong turns in my career life. This epiphany hit hard last week when I was assigned a mind-numbing task at my hourly job: remove industrial staples from packets (11 boxes worth), re-staple the papers in a more desirable location, and then move the boxes of packets to storage. (The preferred location of the staple is in the bottom picture below. Obvious, right?).

To reiterate: I am being paid an hourly wage to utilize this 50G brain to relocate staples on papers that will never be looked at again. Upon explaining this to my 2020 college-bound son, he replied, “I would hate that.” Um, yes, son. Coming completely unglued would accurately describe the way I handled it on day one of the task. I took pictures of the blood stains (circled) that were created by the pokes of staples and sent them to those I felt would empathize.

Multiple times, I’ve communicated with the company’s powers-that-be of my experience in creating a website and social media presence for a business and my eagerness for an opportunity to do so again. Although feedback was positive about those ideas, I am realizing that I am currently paying my own karmic debt for not being able to delegate in the classroom. I always had trust issues with relinquishing any control on what needed to be done and I may just be living on the other side of that mentality.

If you read my post, When I Grow Up, you may recall that I considered the quiet task of cleaning up elephant poop at the zoo as an option to escape from teaching. Therefore, it should be clear that playing with staples isn’t beneath me, it just shines a light upon the frustrations I have about how I earn money (and how much I earn) at this point in my life. I was unemployed for 4 months last year, so I have appreciation for any income right now and it took only one day to find a gold lining in this experience:

  • I was inspired to post another whopper of a lesson I have learned in my life: deliberately create your life instead of just taking the next expected step. God is kindly giving me a swift kick in the rear to not get too comfortable or settle into habits.
  • My situation gives me another thought to ponder in my book about small business success: how many companies do not use their employees to their full potential?

I can definitely admit to not putting much thought into my decision to attend college after high school; it was just what was expected of an A/B student (minus that damn Geometry class). I hadn’t found my passion and had no definite feelings of a career that lit me up. I can look back at those four years of delaying ‘adulting’ with fondness, but would appreciate that time even more if Navient decides to forgive loans-just because. This reflection has allowed me to offer advice to my son: if a scholarship will pay for you to further your education, of course, accept it. But, if you are less than confident in the right direction, and will be creating debt amidst this indefiniteness, ignore the pressure to decide what to do in this red hot minute.

I was still unconscious one decade into teaching. Still not completely passionate about my profession, I decided to earn my Master’s degree to make more money. I couldn’t forecast the future to when teacher compensation would be calculated upon student performance and the tests that measured this would compare all students against the same finish line, no matter their starting place and despite their individual growth.

The school of hard knocks has taught me What we Ought Not to Do. Do not further an education (with debt) in a subject that doesn’t set your soul on fire. Do not misjudge an ability to self-educate through books and experiences. Do not take the next step that society expects of you without testing if it resonates in your core.

I am at peace with The Great Staple Project of 2019. Tomorrow, when I enter this part of my day (as I am currently only 4 boxes deep) I will be able to close my eyes and take a deep breath without a 6-year-old knocking something over and hurting himself. I will listen to music (maybe even with a profanity or two). When I pause to take a drink of coffee, I will relish the taste and the feeling of it warming my throat. I will imagine that each staple removed takes $1 off of my college debt. I will envision how the skill of removing industrial staples will be needed in my future, like possibly on an urban version of Survivor.

My current mantra: “there are no mistakes.” I am low on stress and high on motivation. I am positive that my current moment in the Rat Race is simply a stepping stone to my desired life.

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