Eyes Wide Open ~ Blessings in Adversity #2

Last Thursday I woke up to my 6 am alarm, per usual, showered, and drove my typical 40 minute commute to work. After I clocked in, the HR lady asked me to come in to her office and close the door. She had that serious tone that forces you to take deep breaths to keep your heart from bursting out of your chest. She informed me that I was being terminated, effective immediately, because they knew I was looking for another job, which made it hard for them to move forward. How did they know I was searching, you might ask.

Despite the 80 something cameras that are placed around the building recording the occasional lunches I would spend job hunting on LinkedIn, I’m guessing they were clued in from a conversation I had held a month prior with the same lady. At that time she had asked me to come into her office and close the door (in a less grave tone) and questioned if I had one foot out the door. In my naivety, I was honest. I answered ‘yes’ because nearly 2 hours on 465 each day is comparable to Hell and my Masters degree didn’t seem to be aligned with 4 hour staple placement projects. I need more money and an avenue to utilize my mind, which were conversations we had held previously during my interview and my review, but were never put into action. She understood this wholeheartedly and assured me that I had a job until I found something else. I assured her that I would give a two weeks notice if anything happened. Apparently, she didn’t keep up her end of the bargain.

I was stunned, obviously, at being fired mid-week and the day before I was supposed to receive my work birthday present of a Target gift card (freggin’ bummer). I handed over my key fob and clock-in card. I then began wandering around the kitchen and my office (a.k.a. storage room-see pic) to gather my belongings as the HR lady followed me around. If you have ever watched The Jerk, the remote control scene will give you an idea of how I looked as I was leaving. As I drove, no tears came, but rather, relief. My shoulders felt lighter and I seemed to breathe more deeply. Being in a trance, I drove straight to Kroger, my home away from home. I felt moved to buy a lottery ticket since I knew I had been blessed on this day with a sudden upheaval from negativity.

When I arrived home, I gave myself a massage (not the battery-operated kind of massage)-oiling my legs, feet, arms & neck with the love and attention they always deserve but I rarely have time to offer. I went to a friend’s house and painted the bathroom walls. I ate lunch when I was hungry. I went to the gym and then to bed without setting an alarm. I relished every. single. moment.- floating along as I desired. The following day I received an unexpected check, a free car wash for completing a survey, a free Starbucks beverage and a free açaí bowl. The last two were from apps for my birthday, but the timing couldn’t have been better. I also had a phone interview with a company that I had applied to a month earlier and found money in a parking lot. All of this is to say that I could see blessings were streaming in to me. This was proof, once again, that faith is knowing, wholeheartedly, that all seemingly bad situations will become blessings.

So, I feel obligated to say: Thank you, owner, for not checking if I needed a break to eat during my 12 hour shifts on your 7 hour work day. Thank you, boss, for bringing a mistake made in pencil by another person to me, watching me stop my own work to erase and fix it, because you had the power to enforce me to do so. Thank you for passing employees who put money in your pocket while working in a warehouse that holds a temperature of over 100 degrees without a “Hello,” let alone any recognition for a job well done. Thank you for the constant random drug tests to control not only what people do during the 40+ hours that they serve you, but also during their own, personal time. Thank you for giving me 4 hours of staple-induced busy work instead of trusting me to advance your company in the (God forbid) cyber world to reach out for better talent. Thank you for not blessing anyone when they sneezed (even if you knew their religious background) or checking on your employees when they choked. I have loved the opportunity to gather more information for What Not to Do in a business, because losing your moral compass and knowledge of how to treat fellow humans is absolutely a factor when measuring success.

Yes, I will probably end up at the plasma center again this week to make ends meet. Yes, I had to apply for unemployment again and am painting my a$$ off in exchange for free produce as I wait to hear the decision. Yes, I miss the dear friends that I made during the past year who have called and texted; more than once I have heard they were envious of my blessing of breaking free from a company that had low ceilings and even lower appreciation.

I didn’t wake up on Sunday $40 million richer, but the time I’ve been provided to watch movies and go to the gym with my kids has been priceless. I find I’m living in a world where there are more people who want someone to tell them what they want to hear rather than the truth. I find I’m living in a world where there are more people that close their eyes (and mouths) to the injustices that surround them rather than seeking change. Even if it means I must pull my big girl panties up (again) and continuously be strong, I am so very thankful that I know progression to more happiness is the key and there is true power in the seeking of blessings hidden in adversities. I am so very thankful that my eyes are wide open.