The Woman Strong


Life Lessons from an App

Since my night-cap tea sometimes is actually an espresso, I will admit to guzzling down my third mug of the day at 8 pm. Needless to say, overnight I was in and out of consciousness going back and forth between dreams of tackling spreadsheets and painting walls. When I got home from work the following afternoon, I was determined to enjoy a nap. Alas, when my head hit the pillow next to my new BFF (who shares my affinity for peanut butter), I immediately started planning what I would need to accomplish when I woke up. Succumbing to C.S.M.A.D. again, I reopened the drapes and walked to my laptop.

My son’s senior retreat is next week and parents were requested to write letters that the students will read while they are away. My letter is due on Thursday, and despite loving to write, I had avoided the assignment because I knew it would make me cry. I completed the task at hand and am happy to admit that, although hormones are kicking nice and strong this week, I completed the letter with only minor nasal swelling & redness.

Along with the emotions that come with having a son that is near grown, I’m approaching my one month-iversary of a self-inflicted abstinence of alcoholic beverages. I could use a little help with the math to calculate the official date. My last glass of wine was Thurs., August 15. 4 straight, 7 day weeks puts me at Friday the 13th for my first adult drink. For a Fall-lovin’, Halloween likin’, mid-western gal like me, it seems the perfect day to start the season back on the wagon. (Or is it off the wagon?) However, if we use the logical (sensical) method: Aug. 15 to Sept. 15 = one month. This equation puts me at a glass of wine next Mon. the 16th. A friend just texted me, “I still gotta buy white.” She was referring to paint, but I read her words as, “I still need to buy wine.” Besides the fact that I grammatically edit texts in my mind, it’s safe to say that, no matter the day, I will savor my next libation with more appreciation and respect for the right to consume legally and moderately. (Note: We agree the word ‘moderately’ has many shades.)

Although I don’t think I spent as much money on coffee as I would have on liquor this past month, I did allow myself to splurge on non-alcoholic, tasty drinks. This led me to discover that the Starbucks order ahead app is a life changer. I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t typically have my shit together. I will always have that one zit, coffee stain, missing earring or chin hair. So, breezing past the stacked-up drive thru line, walking boldly past everyone standing at the registers inside and grabbing my already ready-for-me beverage is a big deal in my world. For that one moment, things are flowing my way. I am powerful. I am the Coffee Wonder Woman.

During one of my recent hero struts, though, I was forced to take notice of an older gentleman who was waiting in exasperation for his morning shot of energy. My first thoughts were sympathetic in nature because he just didn’t know what he didn’t know. He watched with pain as I effortlessly waltzed toward my java. Maybe he despised that the more technically savvy are rewarded by being allowed to cut in line. I pondered the possibility that he was set in his ways and not willing to try new things or establish different habits. It was at that precise moment that I realized I was describing myself in so many other topics in life. Outside of ordering coffee, I don’t know what I don’t know.

Let’s take relationships for example. Due to the endless stream of rom coms that I watched in the 90s, I developed a belief that dating inevitably involves difficulties and drama, break-ups and bounce backs. I could credit Jerry Maguire and Ross & Rachel on Friends for half of my attempts to reunite with exes over the years. (I have learned with absolution that this never works for me, by the way. I feel like I’m cheating on myself.) But, what if relationships can be easy? Maybe I just don’t know what I don’t know because I haven’t experienced one with ease.

While enjoying my liquid gold, my mind shifted paradigms for a moment. I have unfailing belief that my 2 pump Hazelnut, 3 shot espresso Grande Latte will be ready when I arrive. What if I had the same amount of belief in my prayers being answered and desires being met? What if my faith in Spirit was as strong as my faith in Starbucks?

About once a month or so, my exhausted mind questions if this is all there is to life and why does everything have to be so hard. But then something like this happens…

 

I recently took my Blog Dog to the vet for the first time on a windy day. As we were leaving, everything was blowing around outside except for a $20 bill. In contrast, it was perfectly still on the parking lot ground right next to my car. No other people or cars were in sight. That money, added to what I made the previous day for painting, paid for the entire vet visit in full. This felt like a gift to me and it came with ease.

Moments like these remind me to catch myself quickly when my mind returns to old thinking habits. I must be open to conceiving in new ways to experience better. Otherwise, angels will feel for me as I did the disgruntled coffee customer, “She just doesn’t know something so good can be so easy.” Blessings can be magical. There is more to life. The only key to me receiving these truths is having faith in them. This is something that I now know that I know.

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