My first post on What Not to Do came in response to teenager arguments & the complaining of the general public. I am proud to say I’m making strides at not allowing others’ negative energy to swoop me along for the ride. My 2nd post on the topic was due to The Great Staple Project of 2019, which pointed out the importance of making deliberate decisions instead of letting life just happen.
I’ve now arrived at yet another learning point in life that I would have already known had I taken heed to the words of the late Kenny Rogers. He said we have to know when to hold ’em and when to fold ’em. I now know, my friends, that refurbishing my kitchen table is exactly the time when I need to fold ’em.
I recently had another case of C.S.M.A.D., backed with inspiration from my friend’s quarantine creative project. She brought her kitchen table back to life (see picture). By contrast, my kitchen table was dark and dreary as my taste has morphed from monotone to beachy in the last 5 years. Also, my table was distressed by actual use instead of distressed on purpose. I knew there weren’t layers & layers of paint like my kitchen cabinets that forced me to sob that one time, so I jumped into the project with only one text conversation as my research.
Since my “smart” phone decided to not time lapse my 1st take like I directed it to, I know it took 30 real-life minutes to sand 1-2 coats of black paint off half of my 4-6 seat oval table. The entire table took about one hour, using less than ten 40 grit sandpaper discs with my hand sander. To decoupage the table (again, with no research), I took one layer off of fancy napkins. I brushed on Modge Podge below and on top of each on napkin. I utilized an overlapping technique, which worked for my quick-fix paper bag floors, but was the first What Not to Do lesson on this project.
I recall my friend saying she sanded “a lot” so I went at it after a 24 hour dry time. I think the point of the texture of the napkins is that the color stains the table. Layering and possibly leaving my napkins too thick resulted in what I just started calling ‘The Mess’ (see pic). My friend also said I couldn’t go wrong with this project, given the creative nature (non-exactness) of it. I would like to state that I, in fact, found The Way to go wrong with kitchen table decoupage.
My teenage daughter described the time lapse video of me sanding the table as “gratifying.” Please know there were zero things gratifying about the next portion of this project. If you ever find yourself in a situation where sanding the muck of a dried glue mixture combined with napkins is requested of you, please run fast and far. It took 20 forty-grit sanding discs to clear off half the table…and 4 hours of equal wrist & back breaking grunt work. I was only able to bring 1/2 of the table to completion by repeating the mantra “there is a good thing behind every thing.” I told myself it was good to work out different muscles in my arm. Or, maybe there were germs in that top layer of wood that needed sanded out of that table.
A moment of genius finally struck! How about experimenting with my next plan on half the table instead of spending another 4 hours on what might turn from bad to worse? I actually researched before jumping in a 2nd time, and found a video that made it look simple to use Modge Podge and wrapping paper. I settled for a shiplap print I found at my local craft store, but was told there are many decoupage papers sold online. (If you follow all of my steps, the paper would arrive before the sanding was done.)
On the day I decided to buy a new kitchen table (a.k.a. fold ’em), I began sanding the edges of my table with my current Starbucks drink of choice in hand. The goal was distressed ship lap (beachy enough). I may have mouthed the words “sanded a lot” when trying to recreate that one, cool burnished spot on my friend’s table. I discovered where napkins fade color onto a table, wrapping paper simply rips off and up. Also, there’s bubbles & ripples that I just can’t live with at every meal. What you see pictured above is half of the completed table that will be going to my basement for my 19 year old after a half-assed covering on the other side and a layer of polyurethane dries. He thinks it’s “dope” so I guess everything does work out. This project made me sore enough to lose my C.S.M.A.D. syndrome for awhile and get back to writing. I was also seated long enough to find the new furniture addition that I have my eye on could be here by December! For now, I plan to stick to painting, but would love to see any D.I.Y. decoupage experiments that you attempt with the power of this knowledge now under your belt.
You did a good job. First time and next time will be better. So glad your son loves so IT so it can stay in the Family. ❤